Thursday, April 7, 2016

Heartfall by J.B. McGee

Claire Ross has never been good enough. Not for the girls in the elite group of dancers in her class and certainly not for the approval of her ballet teacher, Mr. Robins. She definitely doesn’t like what she sees in the mirror. Simply put, she doesn’t love herself, so how could she possibly love someone else?

After twelve years of friendship, Sebastian Reyes’ adoring gaze holds more. They soon find themselves unable to control their feelings for one another.

When tragedy strikes, Claire finds herself in a very unlikely and unfavorable position. Regardless of the weight of the emotion, she must make difficult decisions that impact the rest of her life.

Will Claire see that her true love has been right in front of her? Happily ever after isn’t just for fairy tales. To get hers, all she has to do is trust, open her heart and fall.

You just let me jab my tongue down your fuckin’ throat. Now answer the question.

I can’t.

You can’t answer it or you can’t trust me?

Maybe both. I wish he’d let me fix my shirt. It’s complicated.

No, it’s not.

He’s stubborn too. A match made in heaven. Great.  I trust you or I wouldn’t be here.

Progress. Good. I trust you or you wouldn’t be here, either. I want to do more than just play your music, Claire. I’ve wanted to do more than that from the moment I saw you, and I’ve never wanted that with any girl at that school before. So, do I wanna play with the ice? Fuck yeah. You have no idea the things I wanna do to you and your pretty little dancer body. He smirks. Am I allowed to say that? Use pretty in other contexts where you’re concerned? Or is the word pretty a hard limit in its entirety? My arms cross over my chest because never have I felt so exposed, so vulnerable, yet so sexy and wanted. Quit tryin’ to cover yourself up, dammit. You’re beautiful. Don’t you believe that?

I shake my head. Pretty in other contexts is fine, just not pretty girl.

You didn’t answer my question.

It was my hope to avoid it. What question?He’s already figured out I’m a terrible liar, so I’m sure this won’t go over very well.

He cocks his head and takes a step closer, which I didn’t know was possible. I don’t really get off on whips and chains, riding crops, that kind of stuff. I’m not into hardcore BDSM. I just dabble from time to time when the mood or the need hits me. I’m pretty sure my eyes are about to detach from my head. What. The. Hell. Have. I. Gotten. Myself. Into? But I do love to spank. Don’t play games.


 I received a copy of the book for an honest review so I honest this review shall be. As I try to explain my feelings I will be writing spoilers about the plot line so read at your own risk.

The book is separated in two parts young and new adult Claire. I could also say that one part is Sebastian and one is Liam. Young Claire and I fell in love with Sebastian in the first part of the story. I liked him a lot more than I liked Liam. Claire was feeling ugly and insecure about her looks and other things and Sebastian made her see past all the hurtful things mean people were telling her. He loved her so much. Liam on the other hand couldn't convince me that he is a good choice for her. Their relationship became more physical and for me the romance was mostly lost with them. He could be more likeable if Sebastian hadn't been in my life first.

I could never understand why authors go and kill people. Sebastian's death was very sudden and unwelcome. It seemed silly for some time, but then I realsied that in real life people can do like that even if we don't like it. It wasn't fair that he had to die. He left behind a lot people with broken hearts.

Honestly, I didn't like the book as much as I thought I would. I cried when Sebastian died, but that was the only feeling the book got out of me. I couldn't connect very well with the characters and for the second part, get into the story. At some point after the second part I found myself struggling to go through the book.

When I was five years old I wanted to be a ballerina, so my mom signed me up for dance. Over the next ten years, I explored all three styles: tap, jazz, and ballet. Tap ended up being my favorite, and I studied it for ten years, ballet for four, and jazz for one.
The years I took ballet, I was told to grow my bangs out, to wear my hair in a bun because that’s what ballerinas do. When I ate my snacks from the convenience store because that’s what my single mom bought me after school on her way to drop me off at the studio, I was ridiculed and told if I lost just a few pounds, I’d be the perfect size for a ballerina. I was in elementary school. Looking back at those pictures, I wasn’t fat. Not even close. After my entire class was promoted to pointe and I wasn’t, I quit ballet.

While this story is fiction, there is a lot of me in Claire, but it only takes a few minutes to read the trending headlines to see that this happens to a widespread audience every day. I think there is a lot of every girl in Claire.

Do you like every part of yourself when you look in the mirror? Or did someone, society, make you feel if you lost just a little bit more weight or changed a small part of who you were, you’d be better in their eyes? And then after so long you found you didn’t like the person you saw through your own eyes, didn’t even recognize her?

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think so.

When I started this book, that’s not the message I’d hoped to spread or share, but that’s what it ended up being. Like all of my other books, Claire’s story was cathartic for me because it helped me release a part of my past I didn’t realize I’d been hanging onto so tightly. As much as I loved dance, those years in the studio damaged me. But on the contrary, each day in the studio, each mean girl, each hurtful comment, they took an oyster and produced a pearl. A one-of-a-kind, oddly shaped, uniquely colored, and beautiful pearl.

Every day since writing Heartfall I’ve tried so hard to look in the mirror and find something I like about myself or to ignore something I’d ordinarily criticize, and I challenge you to do the same.

We’re all beautiful and strong women. This is Claire’s story on finding her beauty and strength. Along the way, she’s blessed to find incredible love too. I hope you enjoy it. 

 J.B. McGee was born and raised in Aiken, South Carolina. She is the mother of two beautiful children and a stay at home mom/entrepreneur. She finished her Bachelor of Arts degree in Early Childhood Education at the University of South Carolina-Aiken in 2006. During her time studying children's literature, a professor had encouraged her to become a writer.

In 2011, it was discovered that both of her children, she, and her husband have Mitochondrial Disease, a disease that has no cure or treatments. Being a writer allows J.B. to remain close to her family, work on raising awareness for this disease, and to lose herself in the stories that she creates for her readers.

J.B. McGee and her family now reside in Buford, Georgia. She is an Amazon Top 100 bestselling author of her debut series, the 'THIS' Series.